Today I touched a very raw wound within me The sacred wound of Rejection.
I was rejected by my mother while I was in her womb I felt it feel it my parents married on 14th jan and I was born 12th Oct the same year I remember my mom saying I had periods on the day of the wedding and none after so she was pregnant in her first ovulation cycle post marriage.
I feel my mothers pain too A young woman married with dreams of love and romance and here she was mother before she could even imagine thrown into motherhood.
Today I touched this wound of rejection very alive in me and noticed this wound made life tough for me how I have been very hurt.out of proportion when I was rejected for a school singing performance in std 9th when I didnt win a prize for singing in medical college rejected in love hazard bar many times in my head rejected for a promotion rejected from doing further studies any rejection was taken as a huge mountain to conquer and I never really understood why Man it all seems clear today Well I cried and cried….and the well of sadness that I’m not wanted is too big.
This wound opened up because of the restfulness workshop I did this weekend the upper layers the disassociated self was feeling very hurt while the higher self felt at ease but the truth is I have to feel it all and then cross the bridge over to the other side I was so rested that I fell into the gaping wound full on sadness overflowing pure sadness and actually felt hot tears flow out of me big ones drenching my pillow
But the truth is nobody can reject me the higher self is complete and whole already all is perfect I came because I had to come it was God’s will my father mother gods will In mythology we notice how Sita was rejected too..but she stood her ground as the goddess I can hear her saying from devdutt patnaiks book Sita that .nobody rejects a goddess wowo